Thursday, January 26, 2012


intense fear or suspicion, esp when unfounded
For some reason, I have been suffering from paranoia lately and I have no idea why. I have been unbeleviably jumpy too. Everything scares me. Patrick came in the bedroom when my back was to him and I just about had a heart attack. The other day, I was working in the Ocean City store for a day. I was walking from the break room which is in their back room, to the office. I was carrying a open half full can of soda and the other manager came in through the door. I saw him walking in but I still jumped and spilled soda all over myself.
I usually have my moments were I am jumpy, but this is getting ridiculous! I have to keep both my closet door and bedrrom door closed at night. I often worry that people can see into my room from below when my blinds are closed. I feel like I hear knocking on the front door.
It all started a few weeks ago when i came home one night and Patrick mentioned that the motion light outside kept going off. My imagination has gotten the best of me and now I am totally freaked out!
My lack of sleep is adding to it I think. I wake up often during the night for different reasons. Smetimes its because Patrick is snoring. Sometimes its because Patrick has rolled on top of me. Sometimes its because I am too hot but lately it has been because I have been having bad dreams. Last nights dream consisted of spiders attacking me in a shoe store.
I have a few days off work because my sister is in town. Hopefully this time off will help me relax!

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